Time; friend or foe?
You know the feeling the morning alarm goes off, and you begin the process of getting yourself and your children ready to leave for school and the business of your day. You may start this process each morning with the added time constraints of getting your children to school and yourself to work on time or to a personal appointment. Each new morning gives us the possibility of a peaceful morning. You know, the ideal morning when you can sit down and enjoy a hot and uninterrupted coffee. Your children are dressed and eating their breakfast with a delightful hum in the air. All is right with your world.
How does this day look so different from yesterday's quarreling and tears? What did you change? The first thing that most likely changed was that you placed time in the position of a friend versus a foe. So, how did you go about that? Most likely, you prioritized what had to be done. Each of you needs to dress, eat, brush your teeth/hair, and put on shoes with everything packed for the day. Perfection isn't the aim, so let that go quickly—take deep breaths.
Once you created the "had to" list, you prioritized time. When does everyone need to get up to begin getting ready to head out for the day? You either chose to wake everyone at the last minute or get everyone up early to start their "getting ready" process. Was it a peaceful morning? Yes, you chose to get ahead of the rush. Kudos to you!
So, now what? Each family member is awake? What's next? How do you minimize the stress of getting dressed? You can limit your children's choices to one of two outfits. Full outfits. One or two complete outfits can be placed in individual baskets for the morning, reusable Ziploc bags, and a particular spot on their bedroom floor; you get the idea. You now have limited choices, and your child no longer looks through their closet or drawers in the morning, overwhelmed by the array of clothing. You can do the same for breakfast, brushing your teeth, lunch, coat, mittens/gloves, and more. Providing choice while limiting the number of options with young children is beneficial at almost every turn.
Next up, yet simultaneously, is a consistent routine. Young children seek consistency. It is how they slowly move from the external order of their environments to a gradual internal order. As adults, we are responsible for providing the consistency young children seek developmentally. We are often asked by parents, "How do you manage 20 students in each classroom?"
Simply put, our routine, expectations, and responses are consistent; dependable. Once the child adapts and can trust that our practices, expectations, and responses are consistent, they function within those parameters. Don't rush. Take time and create the consistency that works for you and will allow for peaceful mornings. Once you have unrushed and calm mornings, you can move to meal time, bath time, bedtime, or anything else in your home environment where time and routines can become your friends and not your enemies.
The goal with young children is no surprise for them to navigate each morning. When rushed to move fast amid an inconsistent morning routine, we often experience emotional outbursts from our young children. Let's eliminate the inconsistency and replace it with dependable practices and expectations. Believe in your ability to create the same consistency your children need and you deserve. Gift yourself peaceful mornings by making time for your friend. Who knows? Perhaps time will become one of your best friends!